Whewwwww,

Barnes & Noble of Pineville was the PERFECT way to hit the middle of my weekend. Although I go there to promote my book and get my mug out in the world of my pride and joys, I REALLY utilize it as a time to learn about each and every person who happens to stop by. 

I come with a story, that moved me, to where I cried. About halfway through my time an older woman came up to me. She said "You have a look about you that tells me you are going to do big things". I paused, smiled, and told her that I hope so because I have some that are counting on me to deliver the world on a silver platter. She picked up The Garden Beneath My Grief, skimmed a couple pages and said "Yep, this is exactly what I need". We chatted for a little bit and here is her story:

She was born and raised in Florida. She met her husband at 14 and knew exactly then that she would marry him. She said that he fixed all the broken pieces as she grew up with a mother who was less than par (the irony). She said that she never learned what love was until he taught her what it was like to not only love someone but to receive it. She went off to have four children, 3 boys and 1 girl. Her daughter is her best friend and her sons, still, in their big and grown again never let her do anything by herself. She said if one is cutting her lawn, the other is helping do the laundry, and the other is there making sure her food is in date. Her daughter is the one to bring her gifts, flowers, and taking her out to lunch. She goes on to tell me that she had lost her husband a few years ago and that she is still working through losing the best part of her life outside of her children. She also goes to share that her best friend was diagnosed with brain cancer but she goes to visit her every couple days to help her and love her as she always was her safe space. She said her and her best friend met at 10. She goes on to tell me that if it wasn't for her best friend she would have never seen this year because she is who refused to let her wallow in grief for long. She told me, that she will not know what to do when she passes but she hopes that her husband will meet her at the gate and they both will wait for her before they walk in. In this moment, as I am sobbing, she looks at me and says, "A heart who has known pain, knows others who wear it as their strength. But never forget to find those silver linings" (I have chills writing this). I hugged her, hard, and thanked her for sharing with me. She said that God speaks to her in forms of visions and had asked if she could share the one she had as I hugged her. I of course said absolutely and she said, "You are going to be everything you want to be. You are highly favored and nothing you felt was ever meant to set you back but to equip you with the knowledge to save those who can't save themselves and hold space for what must be named." and when I tell you my heart STOPPED, I thought I was going to have a medical emergency. She grabbed my hands and finished with "Your grandmother is proud." (I am crying all over again). I hugged her once more and said I hope that in her loss, that she finds space in my pages and that even from afar that she feels my hugs. 

As she parted, I realized I forgot to ask her, her name, but I know, somewhere in the Ether that her spirit knew mine and mine knew her. 

So THAT is why, Barnes and Noble in Pineville will hold a piece of my heart. 

Please excuse me while I finish sobbing,

Shay